The last week has not been all that good for me. I got back from NZ glad to be away from the earthquakes. However it did not take long for me to realise that certain negative elements from that experience still remain for me. When I see building work and such my heart skips into an irregular beat and should a truck rumble past I will experience a similar effect. Also every so often I will wake up completely disorientated, not pleasant I can tell you.
Anyway I had asumed that such things would calm themselves and come to a steady stop once I was back in my role as teacher. However that was far from the case. Instead I have discovered that school has become much more difficult while I have been away. I had known prior to going that I would be losing 4 teachers from the school, two of which were fair English speakers and would be replaced, by unknowns. I was also aware that I would have to be teaching a new curriculum, but I had been given none of the books prior to my holiday and was told I would recieve them on the first day back, even though I would be expected to teach that day. Already I had anxieties about returning to work. I had built up an image in my mind that there would be no English speakers and that I would be fucked as far as the teaching was concerned.
I was happy to discover that there was at least one of the new teachers that could speak some English. However I quickly discovered that her ability is not all that much and that the other teachers are very much lacking, even though I would be expected to teach with two of them. One of which has at least spoken to me, the other has said not one word to me, she has instead had others talk for her, how in fuck's name will we teach when that rolls around?
As far as people to talk to in my school goes I was feeling a bit better after Wednesday, because there had been a work outing and everybody was very happy and nice and even willing to try their hand at English, at which point I discovered even those who have never thus far spoken to me have base amounts. So I returned home that night feeling a bit better, although the alcohol could have had something to do with it. However the next day, things returned to normal, no would speak to me again, as if they couldn't. I do not believe that aspect will ever improve.
Also regarding the spoken aspect of my troubles the co-teacher I have that comes into school once a week has also been replaced. I had assumed that I would be teaching with the same one as last semester and was at least happy about that because she had amazing English and was a great source of information. However she is gone too and her replacement has very little English, I cannot understand why she has been replaced, the new one can barely communicate with me.
Well now aside from problems of communicating with the other staff members on a day to day basis, there are other problems in my job. As I have said previously the curriculum has been changed and there are a new books from which I am expected to work. But I did not in fact recieve them on the day I returned, but instead I got them the next day, which is ridiculous, because I was forced to go into a lesson followed by 3 others consecutively with no prep and rely entirely upon another teacher and so, each of the lessons were truly lacking. Now that is just one thing, but another is that when I did in fact get the books that I need, it was not good. I was given a CD and a student's book and when I asked for the teacher's book I was told that it was in Korean. At which point I demmanded how was I supposed to teach from that? They responded that I should make assumptions and discuss it with the other teachers. BUT HOW? They won't speak to me!
Not only that, but I finally got around to doing some lesson planning and I had spent 3 hours preparing several lessons that I would be teaching later in the day and the following day and one of the teachers came in and told me (as best they could) that the areas I had preped would not be covered for some weeks and that I would need to do something else. What the FUCK?!? I demmanded a reason why, why I had wasted my time and why they were expecting me to do it again. What did they want me to pull lessons from my arse? And to my questioning I recieved only either blank stares or a repeat of the first information. Then she asked if I understood and I said no, so she just repeated herself again. Finally I just had to dismiss her. I have no fucking clue what I am going to do tomorrow.
So that's it really, my life totally sucks. Most of my life is based at work and that is just a minefield of miscommunication and stupidity. Then when I am not worrying about what I will teach next, how the lessons will go or how the kids will do I am struggling to get over the remaining effects of the NZ quake.
Which also I have to say that the recent quake in Japan did nothing to help my mental stability. I reacted rather badly to that. I realise that Korea is relitively safe being on the other side of Japan from the quake, so protected from Tsunamis and the area the aftershocks may reach. However that does not really make the damndest bit of different to a brain that is still locked onto responding to quakes and such.
Well as the title may have warned you this blog has been very depressing and unfortunately for myself and perhaps for any followers, it has not improved any for me. Anyway I shall return to work tomorrow and hope for the best, but luck does not seem to be with me of late.
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